Bringing up Boy

So I have been reading Bringing Up Boys by Dr. James Dobson.  I need help!  Being the eldest of 4 girls, I am pretty confident I understand girls, women, emotions, and hormones. ;)   Having daughters felt natural and didn't scare me in the least.  Please don't misunderstand, I will be the last person on earth to brag about my parenting skills and have made many mistakes with my girls already (Lord help me!)  However, when it comes to girls I don't often wonder "Am I doing this right?" My son, well, that's a different story.  I find myself asking myself this question all the time!  "Am I guiding him well?  Disciplining as I should? Should I wrestle with him more?  If so, for how long?  Is it coddling to kiss his "owie" and let him cry over a small invisible cut? Or should I tell him "Awesome!  Be brave.  Brush it off."  Do I let him play dollhouse with his sisters and make them play cars with him?  How often should we wrestle?  Sigh...  I have no earthly idea.  I have no brothers.  I never had a lot of guy friends.  My guy cousins are quite a bit older than I.
What on earth am I doing?!

I always wanted brothers (I was so excited when I found out I was marrying into a family dominated by boys hahaaaaaaa  Little did I realize...  just kidding).  I always wanted sons.  I also didn't anticipate the circumstances...  I feel like the poor boy needs a brother!  Do I just keep having kids until he gets one?  My luck (excuse the sarcastic tone, but I dread the constant vomiting and nausea!)  I'll have a 7 more girls before we get another boy and then they'll be so far apart in years it won't matter!  I know, I sound like such a downer right now and probably stressing over nothing.  I just really wish Slaeter had a brother!  Especially when I hear of all the fun memories Nate shares with his brothers and cousins.

Slaeter loves to play dress-up with his sisters, so I bought him a Spiderman outfit.  :)  Now, when they play, he is the super-hero who rescues the damsels in distress.

Trying to cling to his manhood in the midst of the pink and tutus.

"According to Dr. Carol Gilligan, professor at Harvard University, there is another critical period earlier in life - one not shared by girls.  Very young boys bask in their mother's femininity and womanliness during infancy and toddler hood.  Fathers are important then, but mothers are primary.  At about three to five years of age, however, a load gradually pulls away from his mom and sisters in an effort to formulate a masculine identity.  It is a process known as 'disconnection and differentiation... It is typical for boys during those years, and even earlier to crave the attention and involvement of their dad and to try to emulate his behavior and mannerisms."  (Dobson)

I have REALLY seen this happening of late.  If we have boys over, he wants to be with the guys watching b-ball.  If there is a guy singing on the radio or cd, he doesn't want to the girls to sing and shouts "No!  My song!  Boy song! Boy song!"  He wants to be Superman, Batman, Spiderman and calls out to his princesses in his lowest deepest tone.
"Masculinity is an achievement...  The crucial years are from one and and half to 3 years old, but the optimal time is before age twelve. " (Dobson)


I am so grateful to have my dad around.

I admit, there are days I worry and stress about Slaeter not having his daddy around to wrestle and play cars with.  I know these thoughts are just from the Enemy.

I must not fear.  My dad used to always tell me, "Satan tries to bring down the father of the home, but he is just as aggressive towards the mother.  He knows how much influence she has over her husband, children, and the overall atmosphere of the home.  If he can bring her down..." and so he attacks through fear, worry, anxiety, insecurity, instability...  her emotions.  My emotions.   John 10:10 says, "like a thief", he is out "to steal, to kill, and to destroy".   A thief! He is cunning, very deceptive and wants to lure my children away, my heart away from the will of God, steal my peace.  John 10:11- 14“I am the good shepherd. The good shepherd lays down his life for the sheep. ¹² The hired hand is not the shepherd and does not own the sheep. So when he sees the wolf coming, he abandons the sheep and runs away. Then the wolf attacks the flock and scatters it. ¹³ The man runs away because he is a hired hand and cares nothing for the sheep.
   ¹⁴ “I am the good shepherd; I know my sheep and my sheep know me—
What a comfort!  How deep is His love for us!  I have to remember, my love for my children is but a small fraction of the love He has for them. 

I love all my children.  They are so unique!  However, I have to say, I felt an intense connection to my son while he was still in the womb.  I can't even put it into words.  Maybe it's because I know God began to blow off the spiritual dust that had collected on my heart "clean house" and draw me back to my First Love.  I didn't even realize it at the time, but I see it now.  He has challenged me, brought me to my knees, and continues to work (OVERTIME hahaaaa) to bring me closer to Him.  Slaeter's middle name is Joshua which means Jehovah is generous. Jehovah saves.  Jehovah is salvation.  God rescues.  When I chose his middle name I didn't realize what a blessing, a walking (sometimes shouting) reminder of God's faithfulness Slaeter Joshua would be.  Praise God!


Here are few pics from a this past week.  Slaeter is so into Cars.  I know he is going to be ecstatic when he gets to see the new Cars movie!