Matter of the heart.

As in water face reflects face, so a man's heart reveals the man. Prov. 27:19

                       Keep your heart with all diligence, for out of it spring the issues of life. Prov.4:23

"We need a new heart to know God.  Cause and effect, not the reverse.  It's not, know God to have a new heart.  No.  We need a new heart FIRST.  It's from God.  A gift.  God is life. "  Mark Driscoll

A new heart is a gift from God.  A gift of life.  I'm almost embarrassed to say that this is the first time in almost 30 yrs (almost embarrassed to say that too haaaaa) that I realized it is a GIFT.  Sure, I grew up hearing about "God's GIFT of eternal life..." and I knew it was a gift, but I don't think I really got it.  I think in the back of my type-A, first born, achievement oriented mind, I kept striving to know God better because I thought "if I do ABC, THEEEEEEN I will have more wisdom, a purer heart, desire God's will, a more joyful outlook on life".  Read more bible, read more books, listen to more sermons....all  good things.  Still, it grieves me to say, legalism.
Legalism = rearranging of the flesh  Never thought I would ever accuse myself of being legalistic?!  But I have been.  "Soft legalism" if you will, because it still had to do with me.  I.  I. I.  If only I do this or that, then I will be closer to Him and He will then give me wisdom...  Last night, it finally sunk in.  It doesn't how much I do!  God must first give me the gift of a new heart.  Then comes my desire to know Him!  Not the reverse!
I hope I'm making sense.  Now, I am not claiming to be a Tulip Calvanist (maybe a 2 or 3pt). ;)  However, I do believe that it is not about what man does, what I do to "love" Him, but what He has done to CAUSE me to love Him.  He first loved me...  He chose to give me a new heart, which I accepted and now which I must guard.  Why he chose to give me this "new heart" is beyond me and extremely humbling.  All I know is that because of this heart, I desire Him. 
I realized not having a proper understand that simple truth can rob me of my joy.  As I said before, I end up slowly drifting and slowly falling into legalism.  I cannot know Him deeper by merely doing righteous things.  He must reveal.  I am totally dependent on Him to claim me and incline my heart to His truths.  I'm sure I have heard this preached before, but I just didn't quite fully grasp that it is ALL a gift.  I don't know... I feel like I'm talking, or rather, writing ;) in circles.  Forgive me if I sound confusing.  My heart is full with thankfulness today because God chose me!  I'm thankful He called my name, chose to reveal Himself, and speak to my heart.
 I am reminded of the importance of praying as the Psalmist did, "Create in me a clean heart, O God, and renew a steadfast spirit within me." Ps. 51:10  He alone can remove the scales from eyes and cause man to see his need for a new heart.  He alone is the giver.

However, the fact that God chooses us, does not let us off the hook.  God commands us to guard our hearts, "for it is the wellspring of life" for a reason!  We must not become calloused.


Amen!  Praise God from whom ALL blessings flow!  Thank you Lord, for revealing my "soft legalism" and giving me a clearer understanding of your precious gift!

"He who believes in Me, as the Scripture has said, out of his heart will flow rivers of living water." Jn 7:38